The letter that came to me on the box “Help, I became a baker”

Hello my friend is. I am writing to you about that deeply excited my soul. I can’t get rid of these thoughts. Now I am in the border state between madness and a sober mind. I don’t know when I go this line. But I feel that soon.
But about all in order. Remember, I wrote to you that I decided to put an end to the addiction to download from torrents and switch to Steam? I did so. At first it was difficult. The hand was going to the mouse every now and then. I anticipated how I would sweetly download the pirates. But my iron willpower and an adamant desire to end such a shameful past did not allow me to fall into the bowels of the vice again. It was then that I opened Steam. Pirate torrent simulator. Only pay money to developers. I plunged with pleasure in the new abysses of sin. At first there was one game. Then the second. The third. And for some reason they immediately became 50. One hundred. And the cards! And hats! And sales! Oh, Steam attracted me, as an oasis of a man dying into the desert. I could not come off from him. I bought and bought. And suddenly I began to change. I gradually drunk, began to shun, avoid relatives. The first could not withstand PS 3. She told me -“You are bothering me. You change “. From these words, I furious and shouted at her. We quarreled to the dust, for the first time. She left me in tears. Following the Xbox 360- “Sir, I served you for many years. And was devoted to you. So listen to the old servant. Consult a doctor “. In anger, I shouted at him. And he also left. Grasping my stepdaughter, a girl, sick autism, Wii U. He said, “that she has no place next to the madman”. How was he right. How they were all right! But the demon got into me. I did not need anything except Steam. Soon rumors crawled about a remote house and madman-host. Locals began to avoid me. But I did not give a damn. I had hundreds, hundreds of games in Steam. Many cards and hats. What could they know about me? I was better than them! Richer! But gradually, among the veil of madness, I began to notice the oddities. Yes, let’s call them like that. Then the voice of the empty house will be cut by the voice of Alix, then I began to notice the figure of a tall person with glasses and with red crow in my hands out of the corner of my eye. Then Steam begins to work on its own. I dismissed them. He considered this to be a blessed. Accident. Fatigue, after all. But after today’s sleep – I understood. I can’t be saved anymore. I will develop Half-Life 3.
I dreamed that I was woke up by a robot from the portal. He lifted me out of bed, and I went with him. He brought me to a large bakery, where Gabevel himself stood in front of a huge, hot stolen stove, in a cook apron sprinkled with flour. He commanded the Sabbath. In the other hand, this cannot be called. Terrible, mutilated doters, cards and other rabble collectors, ecstasy, making indecent movements, in some unnatural way, collected Steam-Box. Thousands of Steam-Box. I haven’t seen a more blasphemous spectacle yet. How I have not turned away in horror yet. I did not run away in fear, crossing and praying to the Hirai’s all -mobile Kaza to forgive me, and Steve Balmer, so that he would punish the wicked. No, I didn’t do it. Woe is me. Instead, when Gabe called me, I went up to him. And he told me, you will develop Half-Life 3? I am like in a nap, in a trance nodded to him. Grabbed my hand and chopped it with a meaty knife. And blood poured into the hiring agreement. Fire flashed, smelled with fresh pastries.
-Now you work on Valve – Gabe proclaimed. And laughed. And after him she curtailed, hid in hysteria, in convulsions all his wicked retinue. I ran in a panic from there. Without analyzing the road.
I woke up all in a cold sweat. Wet. With a pounding heart with a heart. Nightmare! The most terrible that I saw. But unfortunately, this was not a bizarre illusion created by the subconscious. The whole bed was in flour. I myself was in her. And a huge cut on the hand from the Myasnitsky Knge Gabe. No. Now I have no way out. I sold the soul of Newwell and now I will be forced to develop games for him. Now I’m in horror waiting for him to come for me. Apparently this is my last letter. You can not answer him. It is unlikely that I can read it. Goodbye my friend. Goodbye forever.
P.C pray for me a casket of Hirai and put a candle in the Sony company store. Please. fulfill my last request.

The best comments

It is necessary to change RollettoCasino to “girl-Autist Wii U”. I meant this. Dementia is a different diagnosis. And autism – perfectly expresses the entire policy of Nintendo. Take a definition from wiki.
Autism is a disorder characterized by a pronounced and comprehensive deficiency of social interaction and communication, as well as limited interests and repeating actions. This determination lies perfectly under the nintedo. Formation of communication is only Mariboev, ordinary players, they cannot interest, and casuals have already lost, and limited interests and repeated actions are the rivets of Mario and Zeld to infinity

Metizer’s processor
Of course. The past 7 blogs were more dull than Game Center@Mail.Ru. You don’t think so?

Lord, what I have come to? I put a plus of a nut blog … survived (
But in fact: cool.
But I will still develop HL3. No. I don’t like the Half-Life series. I will develop quake 5.

I found it. It is written based on, but we can say – a halter under the “Greeks in the Witches’ House” of Lafravt. I read for a long time, so not verbatim. And in order to try something new, written in the epistolary style. Well, yes, parody.